Glitchtown

Hello! It’s been a while since I visited this space. A lot has changed. God, has it really changed.

Well, for starters, I am pregnant! MasyaAllah, Alhamdulillah. The biggest gift and also the biggest responsibility Allah has ever given my husband and I. I see pregnant women since a very young age and I can’t believe I am one of those women now. I look at my ever changing body everyday and I still couldn’t believe that I am carrying a baby right now. God is truly The Greatest.

If you follow me on Instagram, you would know that I don’t have the easiest first trimester but in the grand scheme of things this pregnancy has gone very smoothly so far and I pray it continues so. We had our morphology scan (detailed anatomy ultrasound scan) few weeks ago and Alhamdulillah everything is all good. My baby is growing well and measured exactly as a baby should at that Gestational Age. The placenta and umbilical cord are perfectly attached and no sign of complications. The baby is looking good and so am I. Alhamdulillah Ya Rabb. That scan took almost an hour. I didn’t realise how detailed it was until during the scan itself which I think is a very fortunate thing otherwise I would have felt anxious weeks prior to that. The sonographer walked us through every single thing except the part where she needed to see the genitals. Since we would like it to be a surprise, she didn’t go through that bit but ensured that everything is well. We are not experts in reading the ultrasounds so most of the time we have no idea what is going but she was very lovely and took the time to explain every part of it even my own body. So that was very assuring.

My morning sickness stopped at around week 16 and I have been full of energy since! I started exercising again and do everything I would normally do. I have my routine and appetite back Alhamdulillah. My baby bump is growing so rapidly MasyaAllah and my skin really had copped it. I asked my Obstetrician about how firm and tight my belly feels and she pretty much said that it’s called “not being fat”. I guess it made sense since my skin is forced to stretch rapidly in a very short amount of time. I am BATHED in oil these days and I wouldn’t allow my skin to ever go dry. In saying that, I find comfort in the discomfort because that just means my little baby angel is growing and nothing makes me happier than that.

The kicks are strong and frequent as the week goes by. I think my baby is starting to form his/her own routine at this point. I could almost predict the time he/she moves. I talk to my baby A LOT but of course when we are by ourselves because other people would think I’m mad otherwise. haha. I read a book and listened to a few lectures about ways to stimulate the baby’s brain from the womb and instilling faith and the religion even before he/she is born. It really is very interesting. I don’t think I have been passionate about anything before this. Now I understand when they say that you can never repay your parents because I am willing to go through hell and sacrifice myself to give this child the best of everything he/she could possibly have.

This is definitely the most surprising and happiest news this year (well, we knew about the pregnancy since December but it didn’t sink in until January and to be honest, it still hasn’t sunk in till this day). That’s not to say that it didn’t come with anxiousness, a little bit of fear and uncertainties. Well I guess this is the start of Motherhood where you don’t stop worrying until the day you die.

• Is my baby growing well?
• Have I done anything that would affect my child’s development?
• Will I be a good mother?
• Am I capable of raising a person and more (InsyaAllah)?
• Am I good enough?
• Am I educated enough?

And the list just goes on and on. They say a mother is the child’s first educational institution. Your child learns and imitates your behaviours. I cannot expect my child(ren) to be a certain way and I don’t embody those qualities. That would be me being an absolute hypocrite, Na’udzubillah. There are just so much to think about and learn and prepare. Some days can really be overwhelming but I am taking it one thing at a time. I just hope I can be the best mother this child deserves and I pray for Allah to grant me the ability to be one.

On a lighter note, we are extremely excited, grateful, thankful, blessed and honoured to be trusted with such a massive gift that no mankind could give us but God Himself.

For those of you who are waiting for that double line on a pregnancy test kit, I pray that may Allah bless you and your spouse with one and more children soon InsyaAllah. I have full faith in God and you amazing ladies that it will happen in the most beautiful and unexpected way. Trust His timing. Nothing is impossible.

If it makes you feel any better, I have a heart warming story I can share. A female doctor was diagnosed with infertility and so was her husband. It is not medically possible for her to bear children but they have been blessed with 7 beautiful ones. I acknowledge that it is not easy to be waiting for something you desperately want for so long but have faith and you most certainly have my prayers too.

For those of you who are currently pregnant, may your pregnancy go smoothly. I pray you and little bub to be in the best of health always and may you have the quickest and easiest labour InsyaAllah. May your child(ren) grow to be pious that will InsyaAllah be your express ticket into paradise. Aamiin Ya Rabbal Aalamiin.

Lastly, I can’t possibly end this post without mentioning the one person that I love dearly. My partner in life, my best friend, my cheerleader, my good and bad times friend – the one person I am very lucky to call “My Husband”. I love you babe. You have made this journey so pleasant and as easy and stress-free as it could possibly be for me. I wouldn’t do it with anyone else.

x, R